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is gods purpose worth the pain?
August 23, 2009inner healing
Is God’s Purpose Worth Your Pain?
By Karen Rabbitt
Guest Writer
CBN.com – Wouldn’t you just like God to tell you what he thinks about your suffering? I mean, who wouldn’t? Maybe in a personal letter. Where he spells out what he sees in all your pain.
For many years, I wrestled with him about where he was when my father took me, his four-year-old daughter, out to the cornfield behind our house to take his pleasure at the expense of my pain. How could God let that happen?
And where is he in the bitterness of broken romances, the anguish of jobs lost, the struggles of all the refugees in the world, the hunger of the 800 million people who don’t even have enough food?
After thirty years of prayer, thought, and study, I sat down one day and these words flowed. In the form of a letter to a semi-autobiographical “Annie,” this is how I see God’s perspective on our distress.
The Father of Jesus
1 Golden Way
New Jerusalem
My Dearest Annie:
I know you are unsure of me these days, particularly wondering whether you really are dear to me. Your twenties have been such painful years, haven’t they? I know you’ve wondered whether you would ever stop crying.
And those breakdowns that landed you in the hospital—such terror—thinking you were going to be rolled up in a little ball and thrown out into the empty universe. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. My heart has bled for you.
You’ve been wrestling with me these days. You don’t know how important that struggling is to me. I will always rather fight with you than to watch you walk away. Please keep telling me how you feel. You seem to understand that you have to keep wrestling if you ever want to make sense of these difficult years.
You’ve particularly been wrestling with me about free will. I wanted to write to you today because you’ve begun to see it differently. Up until now you’ve always said, “Free will isn’t worth what it costs! It was a human choice in the garden that led to all this pain, and it was my father’s choices that have provoked so much terror in my life.”
You’ve blamed me for creating such a system. You admitted to me two weeks ago Saturday that you actually hated me. (I was so glad to hear you confess that!) And now, in these last two weeks, it has begun to dawn on you that there’s no real goodness on earth without real evil. The same ability to choose that creates evil also yields goodness.
Do you get it, really? I want people who will love me freely, without coercion or manipulation. That means you all need to have a choice to walk with me or to walk away from me. I know it’s confusing, too, because it’s hard for you to evaluate who’s with me and who’s not.
Like your father, who looked like he was walking with me but sure walked away from me that day in the cornfield when he molested you. Have you ever thought about what I felt that day?
I know you’ve been angry with me about how I’ve set up the system, but think about it from my point of view: I want a family to love. So I made Adam and Eve with the ability to be my children. But they walked away from me and unleashed such evil and suffering.
How I grieved! I was sorry I’d made them. Every violent thought broke my heart. And that’s how I felt that day in the cornfield. I wept over you both, knowing what your father’s sin would cost in your life, and in his. And, do you see that I could not intervene?
If I stopped your father, it would only be fair to stop all the evil choices and then where would human choice be and then how would I get my family? I want a family! I want an enormous, extended family. I want people who want to come to family reunions.
Well, it’s not that I couldn’t intervene in the most literal sense—I could, of course. What I mean is, if I did routinely stop bad choices, that would be the end of choice. Real choices require real consequences. Maybe you think I could just make you love me, but I want a family who really loves me.
But let me tell you, it was excruciating for me to restrain myself. It would have been much easier to stop your father. It is the thought of that glorious family reunion that sustains me.
I mean, imagine what it would be like for you to hold your three-year-old daughter while she had a bone marrow tap. You could hardly stand it, could you? You’d be able to stand it only if you believed that procedure was the only way to cure her disease.
You could hold your screaming daughter only if you understood the purpose; and, even then, you could barely endure not intervening. Well, I can barely stand not stopping human choice, either, but it is the only way to accomplish my purpose.
So, I wanted to write this letter now because you are beginning to understand the value of free will. I want you to understand the next piece, too, that human choice costs me more than it costs any of you.
You’ve understood Jesus’ cross, somewhat—that I had to lose a part of myself so that we could gain a new life together. You’ve grasped that I had to suffer for you; I don’t think you’ve quite understood that I also suffer with you.
And you just have to trust me about whether the purpose is worth the pain.
But try to understand, I’m neither a masochist nor a sadist. I don’t allow such evil because I find pleasure in pain, either mine or yours. I suffer, and I ask you to suffer with me, for a life together that I know will be worth what it costs both of us.
Bless you, dear one.
I love you,
Papa
We can trust a God who suffers with us:
One of God’s first words to describe himself in Exodus 34:6 is “compassionate.” That means “to suffer with.”
Isaiah 63:9 says, “In all their (Israel’s) distress he (God) too was distressed.”
When Lazarus died, recounted in John 11:35, Jesus wept with the mourners.
And Jesus says in Matthew 25:40, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” He is so close to those who suffer that he says we relieve his pain when we relieve their pain. And sometimes we are “the least of these.”
How can God truly love us and not suffer with us? Love means identification with the beloved, to the extent of tender empathy.
The Biblical God is a purpose-driven God. He means to create a family who loves him. In order to fulfill that purpose, he gives us a choice to walk with him or walk away. That choice costs both us and him. And his purpose is worth the pain. Writing to the Romans, (8:18) Paul asserts “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
That cornfield abuse from my father led to much depression and anxiety. And yet, God has healed and redeemed that pain. He has held my hand as we’ve walked together into a rich and satisfying life.
If we wrestle with him until he blesses us, know there is always more to learn, and believe he means to give us an abundant life, we can find the joy that Papa-God desires for us.
Send Karen your e-mail comments
Excerpted and adapted from Trading Fathers: Forgiving Dad, Embracing God by Karen Rabbitt, M.S.W.
Learn more about Karen at www.tradingfathers.com
Let us pray with you — send your e-mail prayer request.
You can also call a CBN Prayer Counselor 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week at 1-8….
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. © 1973, 1978 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission.
Karen Rabbitt, M.S.W., a seasoned psychotherapist, has written for Marriage Partnership and Today’s Christian Woman, in addition to writing her own story, Trading Fathers: Forgiving Dad, Embracing God (WinePress, 2009).
Raised on an Illinois farm in a difficult family, Karen experienced traumatic sexual abuse as a child at the hand of her father. The devastation of this abuse eventually led to depression and serious mental illness in her twenties. After she recovered, Karen earned her Masters of Social Work degree and provided psychotherapy to Christian women from 1986 to 2005.
A Christian Leaders, Authors, and Speakers Seminar (CLASS) graduate, Karen now speaks and leads retreats as a way to encourage others; her deepest desire is to feed your hunger for Papa-God’s love. Now a grandmother, Karen still lives in Illinois and has been married to Jerry since 1972. She attends The Vineyard Church. Learn more about Karen at www.tradingfathers.com
malunggay
August 2, 2009|
Malunggay is �miracle vegetable� Malunggay, known scientifically as Moringa oleifera Lamk, is one of the world’s most useful plants. It is used as food, effective flocculant or water treatment, antibiotic, source of oil, and coagulant for turbid waters. It is also called �mother’s best friend�, and �miracle vegetable� by many who know malunggay’s beneficial uses. It is cultivated in all countries of the tropics. It is easy to plant and is available year-round. Malunggay’s image was even used as the official logo of the Food and Nutrition Research Institute, an agency of the Department of Science and Technology. One hundred grams or 1 cup of cooked malunggay leaves contain 3.1 g. protein, 0.6 g. fiber, 96 mg calcium, 29 mg phosphorus, 1.7 mg iron, 2,820 mg ß-carotene, 0.07 mg thiamin, 0.14 mg riboflavin, 1.1 mg niacin, and 53 mg ascorbic acid or vitamin C. The antioxidant activity of malunggay is about 71%, with µ-tocopherol (vitamin E) equivalent of 45. Malunggay leaves are an excellent source of vitamin A and B, and minerals such as calcium and iron. It is even an excellent source of protein, being higher than the amino acid pattern of Food and Agriculture Organization-reference protein, yet contains very low fat and carbohydrates. The leaves are incomparable as a source of the sulfur-containing amino acids methionine and cystine, often the natural minerals humans lack. Due to its high vitamins A, C, and E, which are very potent antioxidants, malunggay is a very good quencher of unstable free radicals that can react with and damage molecules that cause aging. Antioxidants reduce the appearance of wrinkles and fine lines. They also prevent the onset of various chronic diseases like arthritis, cancer, and heart and kidney diseases. Malunggay contains the phytochemical niaziminin, which is found to have molecular components that can prevent the development of cancer cells (Faizi et al., 1992) and correlated with inhibitory ability against superoxide generation. The first naturally-occuring thiocarbamates, novel hypotensive agents niazinin A, niazinin B, niazimicin and niaziminin A and B were isolated from malunggay. Malunggay is called �miracle vegetable� because it is not just a food, it is also a medicine. It may therefore be a �functional food�. Malunggay promotes good eyesight, digestion, facilitates bowel movement, and is a cure for stomach ache. It is also used to cleanse wounds and ulcers. It helps alleviate scurvy, asthma, earache, and headaches. For its high calcium content, lactating mothers are advised to eat malunggay leaves to produce more milk. Malunggay is usually cooked with chicken as tinola, or with fish and other vegetables, mongo soup dishes, and blanched as salads. [For more information on food and nutrition, you may write or call The Director, Food and Nutrition Research Institute-Department of Science and Technology, Gen. Santos Avenue, Bicutan, Taguig, Metro Manila, Tel/Fax: 8372934, 8373164; E-mail: cvcb@fnri.dost.gov.ph; FNRI-DOST website: http//www.fnri@dost.gov.ph]
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depression
Depression
Depression, like the word, “cancer”, sends shudders of fear into the hearts of so many. Once viewed as a problem for the weak and paranoid, we tolerated those who were “depressed”, telling them to just “deal with it”. As ugly as it seems, I was one of those critical, religious bigots who would roll my eyes and determine that anyone struggling with depression simply needed to “get over it”.Then one day, I found myself in the middle of the darkest, loneliest time of my life. I was in that fog called depression. I didn’t understand what had happened to me. I found myself unable to concentrate. I was irritable and impatient, crying for no reason and unable to function.I tried to wear the mask – the one we all put on when we want others to believe we have everything under control. The mask shouts, “Everything is fine, just fine.” I wore it so well I began to believe that it all would eventually just go away.But it didn’t. Further and further into the fog I went, traveling down a road that I had never walked before, feeling frightened and so alone. This blinding fog consumed me, prevented me from seeing the good life I had and sent me into a pit of despair.I couldn’t reach out to anyone. I found myself withdrawing from the things I once enjoyed. No longer did I seek out friends asking them over for tea. I had no desire to laugh or play with my children, no pleasure being the wife of a wonderful man. My life felt empty and broken.Looking at me, life seemed so perfect, I had nothing to complain about, but it seemed I would spend the rest of my life on the brink of tears, fear and despair.Finally I couldn’t take it any more. Crying out to God, I told Him that something had to change. It had to be different. I wanted to come back to the place I knew I had been before. But I knew even that place had to be different. Father heard the desperate cry of my heart. He reached down and began to reveal Himself to me.I remember one especially difficult day, a Sunday – arriving at church, the children dressed and intact – myself properly preened, but empty.A pastor’s wife, seeing me in the hallway said, “Hello there, Kim. How are you?”I responded, “Do you really want to know, or are you just asking?”She stammered and stumbled over her words, finally retreating with, “I – I was just being polite.” “Then”, I stated, “I’m fine, just fine.” But I wasn’t.That afternoon I got a call from someone who would prove to be the flesh and bones of God’s love poured out to me. She risked rejection and reached out – insinuating herself into my life by saying, “I’ve seen the light go out in your eyes. I know something is wrong. I am going to keep reminding you that you are so loved. God loves you. You are precious. You will make it and I will be with you the whole way.” She lived the truth of “by this shall they know you are my disciples, that you love one another as I have loved you” and “bear ye, one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.” We are to fulfill the “law of Christ” by loving one another. At times this means loving the unlovely.By allowing me to go through that dark time, God gave me insight for the hurting, hopeless people He has called me to serve. I had spent my life “sharing God” with them, but I realized I was sharing a God for a “perfect people.” I found that He is Father for an “imperfect people.”We often look at someone and say, “How are you?” not really wanting to know or to be inconvenienced by their fear or pain. We just want to hear them say “I’m fine. Thank you so much for asking.” Then we feel good because we “helped” someone else.I finally understood the truth, “Comfort others with the same comfort by which the Holy Spirit has comforted you.” God gave me a deep understanding of how a child of God, with a seemingly perfect life, can be caught up in the whirlpool that is depression and lose all sense of purpose and direction. Through this gentle, loving sister – He revealed to me His Love, His compassion, His Mercy and gave me a reason to fight my way back. He showed me we can never think that we have honored His command to love by simply asking how someone is doing. It takes our time, our energy and stretches our patience. But by loving completely outside our own strength and impulses, we can allow His love to flow through us to the one in such desperate need.It took time, but I began to grasp the reason He rescued me – it was His love; a radical, passionate, overwhelming, intrusive love – greater than all my doubt, my sin, my pain and my need. God’s love rescued me from the fog of depression. At that point I laid down my heart and simply said, “Fill it up.” He did, He does and keeps on filling it – with Himself and His love for me.Freedom from depression is a journey. One not traveled alone, but one that has to be traveled – because if it is not, we will be held captive by the fog of darkness and depression when our Father God has created us to dwell in the Light!
The Fog” reprinted with permission
By Kim Hagans Certified Speaker
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Copyright © 2008 Overcomers.org
Lord I lift your name on high
July 30, 2009
How great is our God - Chris Tomlin
July 29, 2009
VERSE(1):
The splendor of a King,
Clothed in majesty
Let all the earth rejoice,
All the earth rejoice
He wraps himself in light,
And darkness tries to hide
And trembles at his voice,
And trembles at his voice
CHORUS(1):
How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God
VERSE(2):
Age to age he stands
And time is in His Hands
Beginning and the End,
Beginning and the End
The Godhead, Three in one
Father, Spirit, Son
The Lion and the Lamb,
The Lion and the Lamb
CHORUS(1):
How great is our God,
sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God
CHORUS(2)
Name above all names
You are Worthy of all praise
and My heart will sing how great
Is our God
(x2)
CHORUS(1):
How great is our God,
Sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God
CHORUS(1):
How great is our God,
Sing with me
How great is our God,
and all will see
How great, How great
Is our God
who am i - casting crowns
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lemon grass
Health Benefits of Lemon Grass
Citronella is known for its calming effect that relieves insomnia or stress. It is also considered as a mild insect repellant. But more than scent, tanglad or lemon grass provides a lot of health benefits. Studies have shown that the lemon grass has antibacterial and antifungal properties. Mixed with pepper, it’s a home therapy for menstrual troubles and nausea. Drank as tea, it is an effective diuretic. When it comes to pets, citronella is used to neutralize excessive barking of dogs. Since dogs hate citronella, it is sprayed to dogs to prevent them from barking or just to lessen the behavior.
The Lemon grass is a good cleanser that helps to detoxify the Liver, pancreas, kidney, bladder and the digestive tract. It cuts down uric acid, cholesterol, excess fats and other toxins in the body while stimulating digestion, blood circulation, and lactation; it also alleviates indigestion and gastroenteritis. It is said that lemongrass also helps improve the skin by reducing acne and pimples and acts as a muscle and tissue toner. Also, it can reduce blood pressure. Just make a concoction by boiling some lemon grass leaves, let it cool for a while and drink the liquid.
Health benefits of lemon grass
he has planted eternity in the human heart
Four Things We Should Know He has planted eternity in the human heart… There are four things we should know about every person on this earth. No matter how successful they are, how unsuccessful they are, how famous they are, how beautiful and handsome they are, or how unattractive and plain they may be, everyone shares these four traits. One, there is an essential emptiness in every person who hasn’t yet come to Christ. Everyone is essentially empty. No matter how much money or prestige someone has, everyone has to deal with that emptiness. Scripture says that God made His creation subject to vanity or emptiness, meaning there is a void–a hole, if you will–inside every man, woman, and child. Two, people are lonely. We can assume there is a sense of loneliness in every individual. Albert Einstein once wrote, “It is strange to be known so universally and yet be so lonely.” People are lonely. We need to know that. Three, people have a sense of guilt. They may try to mask it with alcohol or have a psychologist or psychiatrist tell them it is not there. But they have to deal with their guilt over the things they have done wrong. The head of a mental institution in London once said, “I could release half of my patients if I could find a way to relieve them of their sense of guilt.” Four, people are afraid to die. Some may strut around and say, “Not me. I’m not afraid to die.” But they are. So don’t be so intimidated by the facades that people hide behind and assume they don’t want to hear what you have to say about your faith in Christ. Remember, you used to be one of those people. I used to be one of those people. And we responded to the gospel. So will they. 
–Ecclesiastes 3:11
700 CLUB- OVERCOMING DEPRESSION
July 27, 2009CBN TEACHING SHEETS
Overcoming Depression
By CBN.com
CBN.com – Almost everyone at one time or another experiences a period of sadness. Most people get over it with a little time. But for some people, the sadness continues.
If you are caught in a prolonged period of sadness, you may recognize one or more of the signs that often accompany depression: a growing distrust of God, resentment of others, difficulty making decisions, guilt, inactivity, sleeplessness or oversleeping, not eating or overeating, doubting, complaining, worrying, and hopelessness, as though you’re in an inescapable pit.
Thankfully, as desperate as everything may look, there are real reasons for hope. God loves you. And He wants to fill you with joy, peace, fulfillment and so much more.
First Step to Help
The Bible says that Jesus came that we “might have life, and might have it abundantly” (John 10:10, NAS). Certainly, depression is not abundant life. But you can be assured, God wants you to find His peace and joy. He will help you because you are very, very important to Him.
Are you in a position to receive God’s gift of “abundant life”? If you are not certain, ask God right now to forgive you for your sins and to come and rule in your life (Romans 10:9, 10,13; I John 1:8,9; John 1:12,13). The Bible describes what happens the moment you first give your life to God as being “born again.” Spiritually you are a new person. But you now need to learn a new way of living. God will help you. Ask Him to fill you completely with His Holy Spirit (Luke 11:13). God’s Spirit will give you the power to live like God wants you to live. The Holy Spirit guides, comforts, teaches, empowers and produces within a Christian the actual characteristics of God — love, joy, peace, patience and more (Galatians 5:22-23). And it is when you are living the way God wants that you will experience the full and joyful life God has for you.
When you are born again, God takes up residence in your spirit. He brings with Him the promise of great joy and peace, sometimes immediately. But what if you are now a Christian and you are depressed? You are not alone. Many people of faith have experienced periods of deep depression. The Bible stories of Moses, David and so many others show us how God’s love continues even during these times and that He eventually brings great hope.
What You Can Do
What can you do to overcome depression? It depends on why you are depressed. There are many possible reasons, but since more than one may be present in your life, read all the sections below:
Physical: Some depression is caused by physical problems. Improper diet, lack of exercise, and not enough sleep can all contribute to depression. So if you are feeling “down,” make sure you are taking care of your body.
In addition, many illnesses can cause depression (others may be caused by depression). Also, some medications can cause depression. It’s always a good idea to see your doctor for a checkup t rule out physical reasons. But remember, God can heal any physical problem, including one that causes, or is caused by, depression (Psalm 103:3; Matthew 8:16-17).
If your doctor has diagnosed a particular problem, ask your prayer partner, pastor, Christian counselor or other Christian to pray with you for God’s healing (James 5:14-16). But if you are taking medication for any problem, consult your doctor before changing or stopping it.
Losses and Other Hurts: When something you see as bad happens to you, it’s normal to feel hurt. You may have lost your job or other financial security. You may have been wronged in some way, recently or in the past. You may have a bad relationship with a friend, family member, or spouse. A loved one may have died. Or you may even be hurting about something you’ve never had, but feel you should have, such as a spouse or children. It is okay for you to hurt over a situation like this. Tell God about your hurt. He already knows, but it is important for you to put the hurt into words and tell Him. Also tell a trusted friend or pastor, or consult a Christian counselor. Allow yourself to cry if you want to. Normal grieving, including crying, is healthy.
The Bible says that Jesus “bore our griefs” on the cross (Isaiah 53:4 NAS). He feels our pain as strongly as we do and will carry it for us. Give your hurt to Him. Then resolve not to dwell on it again.
Sin: Sometimes depression is rooted in sin. You will never be at peace if you ignore something in your life that you know is against God’s will (I Timothy 1:19). If you know you are doing or have done something against God’s will, admit to God that it is wrong. Then ask His help in doing what is right. If you admit your sin and turn from it, God has promised to forgive you completely, and cleanse you from the sin (I John 1:9). Trust Him to do it.
If it is an ongoing sin and it seems too big for you to deal with, just deal with it today, this moment. Tell God that with His help you will do the right thing right now. In addition, you may need to take some action to make up for your sin with those you have wronged. You may need a pastor or Christian counselor to help you decide what to do.
Don’t forget to obey God in the small things. Very often, it is because we have chosen to ignore Him in the small things that we slowly slip into deeper problems. You can reverse this slide. If you obey God in the small things, it will help put you back on track in the larger things. You may need to obey Him in something so simple as getting up early enough to get to work on time without rushing.
Wrong Thinking: What do you think about right before you feel depressed? Do you think such things as “I’m no good,” or “I can’t do anything right,” or “This situation will never change”? It’s vitally important for you to find out what God says is the truth about you and your life. Read the Bible closely to find out what is the real truth (Ephesians 1:18-19). Once you find out the wonderful things God says about you, stop repeating negative things to yourself. Instead, memorize and repeat to yourself the truths you find in the Bible that contradict the negative thoughts.
Fill your thoughts with such truths as : “For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power” (Philippians 4:13); “It is he who will supply all (my) needs from his riches in glory, because of what Christ Jesus has done for (me)” (Philippians 4:19); “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want (me) to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (II Timothy 1:7). “Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us” (Romans 8:37); “He personally carried the load our sins in his own body when he died on the cross, so that we can be finished with sin and live a good life from now on. For his wounds have healed ours!” (I Peter 2:24).
In Conclusion: Admit to God you need His help in order to live rightly with peace and joy. Repent of any known sin. Accept God’s forgiveness and cleansing (I John 1:9).
Rebuild your spiritual life through Bible reading, prayer and fellowship with other Christians. Attend a local Bible-believing church faithfully. Being an active member in a church is a good way to begin to grow spiritually and learn an overcoming faith.
If your depression continues, seek help from your pastor or other qualified Christian counselor. There ARE answers for you. However, finding and solving the root causes of depression do not always happen quickly.
And finally, don’t be surprised if once you are on the other side of depression, you thank God for this time of hardship and the good that has come out of it.
As You Pray
Ask God to reveal specific thoughts and actions He wants you to change. Agree with Him when He points out sin and ask Him to help you change. Forgive others who have wronged you. Thank God for His love and ask Him for healing and a renewed joy in life.
For Further Study
God’s love for us — Psalm 42:4-11
The right way to think — Philippians 4:4-13
God is touched by our feelings — Hebrews 4:14-16
Repentance assures God’s presence — James 4:8
God gives peace — Isaiah 26:3; John 14:27
Reading
Prison to Praise by Merlin Carothers
How to Win over Depression by Tim LaHaye
Other helpful resources:
Find a local church in your area.
10 Tips for Managing Your Depression
Dispelling the Myths about Suicide
More teaching sheets from CBN.com
More from the Spiritual Life Channel
All Scripture is taken from The Living Bible, unless otherwise noted.
tRUTHS
Fill your thoughts with such truths as :
“For I can do everything God asks me to with the help of Christ who gives me the strength and power” (Philippians 4:13);
“It is he who will supply all (my) needs from his riches in glory, because of what Christ Jesus has done for (me)” (Philippians 4:19);
“For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want (me) to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (II Timothy 1:7).
“Overwhelming victory is ours through Christ who loved us enough to die for us” (Romans 8:37);
“He personally carried the load our sins in his own body when he died on the cross, so that we can be finished with sin and live a good life from now on. For his wounds have healed ours!” (I Peter 2:24).
approval seeking and low self esteem
July 21, 2009
suicide.org
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Suicide.org Suicide Survivors Forum - Click for Info!
i am angry at God
July 19, 2009I am Angry at God!
Hello,
I don’t know your name, other wise I would have written it, I would have looked for it but by the time I found It I probably would have dismissed the idea of e-mailing you. I was looking on the net for reasons for why God brings pain. Recently I have experienced a death in my life. Five days ago actually. This may sound stupid, but it is for some reason, a major lesson in my life. Back in april I got a little basset hound pup, that pup became my life, my only friend. He got sick june the fifth and died june the twelth. Night and day I prayed and prayed believing and knowing that Christ couldhave saved him, but he didn’t. A lesson I will never forget. I tried to make the death a sweet smell to the Lord, but as the hours pass I grow more and more angry. I feel horrible saying this, but I am angry, at God. I realize that I have nothing, nothing I can say or do will ever change his mind. I used to believe we were free but now I’m not so sure. In a sense, we’re prisioners. If you believe, you are saved; if you don’t, to hell with you. What kind of choice do I have? Believe me, it hurts me to say what I am saying, but this is how I feel, I have no one to tell this to. Perhaps you can be an instrument today.
My response is in Green:
Thank you for writing me. I am sorry to hear about your puppy’s death. I won’t try to tell you that I understand why God did not answer your prayer, but I will tell you some of the things that I believe about both God and how He handles our prayer. Maybe that will help and maybe not.
I believe that God does love us and wants to do good things for us. However, I believe His view of what is good for us is often different than ours. We look at this life as everything. We can’t see past what happens to us here and now, but God knows and truly understands that this life is no more than a whiff of smoke, less than the size of one atom in relationship to the universe compared to all eternity. He wants us to know Him and to trust Him and to be ready to live with Him for eternity. I have no idea why He does the things He does, however, I believe He often does things or does not do things so that we will grow spiritually. If He jumped every time we asked for something, when would we ever start accepting His will and His plan for us?
Why would God allow His people to suffer persecution? Again I can’t tell you, but I know He does. Look at the early believers, most of the disciples were martyred. Many of the Christians around the world are being persecuted and many of them are giving their lives for their faith. You know what? The church (meaning the Body of Christ) is stronger in those countries than it is in our country where we have the freedom to openly believe whatever we please. We can worship any time we want, most of us have two or more Bibles in our homes, yet we are soft and our faith is weak. I have to believe there is a relationship there. The people who are suffering under persecution are trusting God everyday. The people around them watching are seeing their faith and the peace in their lives and are coming to Christ in great numbers, just like the early church. Yet in America where we have the freedom, people don’t want to be like us because as they say we are; “hypocrites, have more problems than the world at large (did you realize that the divorce rate is higher in the church than in the general population?), we act like we are suffering when people call us names, etc… we (as a group) often walk around as if the weight of the world was on our backs, we fight among ourselves, we don’t help each other,” and the list goes on and on. Where is our joy? Where is the comforting thought that soon this life will be over and we will live for eternity with the King of the Universe? We lose sight of out goal so easily.
You said that as the hours go by you grow more and more angry. Why? Do you think God did this just to hurt you? Do you realize that before the fall in the garden of Eden there was no death? That is how God created this world, with no death and no pain, but mankind messed that up and allow sin in and now we all suffer the results. God does not take pleasure in your suffering, yet as I said above I believe there are times when He allows it so that we will grow and so we will get deeper roots.
You say that now you don’t believe you even have a choice. Why do you say that? If you mean that choosing eternity in hell is not what you would ever do, then I agree with you, but it is a choice. Why do you think now that you are not free? What has changed? I hope this does not hurt you but the only thing that has changed is that God did not do what you asked Him to do. He does not want to be a genie in the sky that we only go to when we want something, He wants us to trust Him in the good times and in the bad times. He wants us to know that He loves us even when He knows that what is best for us is not what we want. Again I have no idea why He did not saved your puppy, but the final point is this; do you trust God or don’t you? If your answer is ‘I did until this happened’ then your real answer is ‘no I never did I just didn’t realize it until now.’ Yes I am blunt and I am direct, but I am also as honest as I can be. If you lost your faith and your trust for God because of this, then maybe just maybe God already knew you only trusted Him until something bad happened and He was trying to show you that so that you could grow and start really trusting Him.
(Hebrews 12:5-11 NIV) And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons: “My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, {6} because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” {7} Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? {8} If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. {9} Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! {10} Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. {11} No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
I am not saying that God has told me this is how He is working in your life. I just know that He cares about us and because of that love He sometimes brings us through pain so that we will be more like Him. The Bible is full of such stories and people usually react one of two ways. They either get closer to God or then leave Him behind and look for solace somewhere else.
Try telling God (respectfully) that you don’t understand and that you are angry, then ask Him to help you understand and to trust Him. Ask Him to mold your heart into what He wants it to be, and then let go and allow Him to work in you. I won’t be easy but it will be worth it.
I hope I have not in any way hurt you, I sure did not mean to. Feel free to write me anytime you want to.
In Christ,
Ralph