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is gods purpose worth the pain?
August 23, 2009inner healing
Is God’s Purpose Worth Your Pain?
By Karen Rabbitt
Guest Writer
CBN.com – Wouldn’t you just like God to tell you what he thinks about your suffering? I mean, who wouldn’t? Maybe in a personal letter. Where he spells out what he sees in all your pain.
For many years, I wrestled with him about where he was when my father took me, his four-year-old daughter, out to the cornfield behind our house to take his pleasure at the expense of my pain. How could God let that happen?
And where is he in the bitterness of broken romances, the anguish of jobs lost, the struggles of all the refugees in the world, the hunger of the 800 million people who don’t even have enough food?
After thirty years of prayer, thought, and study, I sat down one day and these words flowed. In the form of a letter to a semi-autobiographical “Annie,” this is how I see God’s perspective on our distress.
The Father of Jesus
1 Golden Way
New Jerusalem
My Dearest Annie:
I know you are unsure of me these days, particularly wondering whether you really are dear to me. Your twenties have been such painful years, haven’t they? I know you’ve wondered whether you would ever stop crying.
And those breakdowns that landed you in the hospital—such terror—thinking you were going to be rolled up in a little ball and thrown out into the empty universe. I’m so sorry you had to go through all that. My heart has bled for you.
You’ve been wrestling with me these days. You don’t know how important that struggling is to me. I will always rather fight with you than to watch you walk away. Please keep telling me how you feel. You seem to understand that you have to keep wrestling if you ever want to make sense of these difficult years.
You’ve particularly been wrestling with me about free will. I wanted to write to you today because you’ve begun to see it differently. Up until now you’ve always said, “Free will isn’t worth what it costs! It was a human choice in the garden that led to all this pain, and it was my father’s choices that have provoked so much terror in my life.”
You’ve blamed me for creating such a system. You admitted to me two weeks ago Saturday that you actually hated me. (I was so glad to hear you confess that!) And now, in these last two weeks, it has begun to dawn on you that there’s no real goodness on earth without real evil. The same ability to choose that creates evil also yields goodness.
Do you get it, really? I want people who will love me freely, without coercion or manipulation. That means you all need to have a choice to walk with me or to walk away from me. I know it’s confusing, too, because it’s hard for you to evaluate who’s with me and who’s not.
Like your father, who looked like he was walking with me but sure walked away from me that day in the cornfield when he molested you. Have you ever thought about what I felt that day?
I know you’ve been angry with me about how I’ve set up the system, but think about it from my point of view: I want a family to love. So I made Adam and Eve with the ability to be my children. But they walked away from me and unleashed such evil and suffering.
How I grieved! I was sorry I’d made them. Every violent thought broke my heart. And that’s how I felt that day in the cornfield. I wept over you both, knowing what your father’s sin would cost in your life, and in his. And, do you see that I could not intervene?
If I stopped your father, it would only be fair to stop all the evil choices and then where would human choice be and then how would I get my family? I want a family! I want an enormous, extended family. I want people who want to come to family reunions.
Well, it’s not that I couldn’t intervene in the most literal sense—I could, of course. What I mean is, if I did routinely stop bad choices, that would be the end of choice. Real choices require real consequences. Maybe you think I could just make you love me, but I want a family who really loves me.
But let me tell you, it was excruciating for me to restrain myself. It would have been much easier to stop your father. It is the thought of that glorious family reunion that sustains me.
I mean, imagine what it would be like for you to hold your three-year-old daughter while she had a bone marrow tap. You could hardly stand it, could you? You’d be able to stand it only if you believed that procedure was the only way to cure her disease.
You could hold your screaming daughter only if you understood the purpose; and, even then, you could barely endure not intervening. Well, I can barely stand not stopping human choice, either, but it is the only way to accomplish my purpose.
So, I wanted to write this letter now because you are beginning to understand the value of free will. I want you to understand the next piece, too, that human choice costs me more than it costs any of you.
You’ve understood Jesus’ cross, somewhat—that I had to lose a part of myself so that we could gain a new life together. You’ve grasped that I had to suffer for you; I don’t think you’ve quite understood that I also suffer with you.
And you just have to trust me about whether the purpose is worth the pain.
But try to understand, I’m neither a masochist nor a sadist. I don’t allow such evil because I find pleasure in pain, either mine or yours. I suffer, and I ask you to suffer with me, for a life together that I know will be worth what it costs both of us.
Bless you, dear one.
I love you,
Papa
We can trust a God who suffers with us:
One of God’s first words to describe himself in Exodus 34:6 is “compassionate.” That means “to suffer with.”
Isaiah 63:9 says, “In all their (Israel’s) distress he (God) too was distressed.”
When Lazarus died, recounted in John 11:35, Jesus wept with the mourners.
And Jesus says in Matthew 25:40, “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” He is so close to those who suffer that he says we relieve his pain when we relieve their pain. And sometimes we are “the least of these.”
How can God truly love us and not suffer with us? Love means identification with the beloved, to the extent of tender empathy.
The Biblical God is a purpose-driven God. He means to create a family who loves him. In order to fulfill that purpose, he gives us a choice to walk with him or walk away. That choice costs both us and him. And his purpose is worth the pain. Writing to the Romans, (8:18) Paul asserts “our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.”
That cornfield abuse from my father led to much depression and anxiety. And yet, God has healed and redeemed that pain. He has held my hand as we’ve walked together into a rich and satisfying life.
If we wrestle with him until he blesses us, know there is always more to learn, and believe he means to give us an abundant life, we can find the joy that Papa-God desires for us.
Send Karen your e-mail comments
Excerpted and adapted from Trading Fathers: Forgiving Dad, Embracing God by Karen Rabbitt, M.S.W.
Learn more about Karen at www.tradingfathers.com
Let us pray with you — send your e-mail prayer request.
You can also call a CBN Prayer Counselor 24-hours-a-day, 7-days-a-week at 1-8….
Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version. © 1973, 1978 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission.
Karen Rabbitt, M.S.W., a seasoned psychotherapist, has written for Marriage Partnership and Today’s Christian Woman, in addition to writing her own story, Trading Fathers: Forgiving Dad, Embracing God (WinePress, 2009).
Raised on an Illinois farm in a difficult family, Karen experienced traumatic sexual abuse as a child at the hand of her father. The devastation of this abuse eventually led to depression and serious mental illness in her twenties. After she recovered, Karen earned her Masters of Social Work degree and provided psychotherapy to Christian women from 1986 to 2005.
A Christian Leaders, Authors, and Speakers Seminar (CLASS) graduate, Karen now speaks and leads retreats as a way to encourage others; her deepest desire is to feed your hunger for Papa-God’s love. Now a grandmother, Karen still lives in Illinois and has been married to Jerry since 1972. She attends The Vineyard Church. Learn more about Karen at www.tradingfathers.com
malunggay
August 2, 2009|
Malunggay is �miracle vegetable� Malunggay, known scientifically as Moringa oleifera Lamk, is one of the world’s most useful plants. It is used as food, effective flocculant or water treatment, antibiotic, source of oil, and coagulant for turbid waters. It is also called �mother’s best friend�, and �miracle vegetable� by many who know malunggay’s beneficial uses. It is cultivated in all countries of the tropics. It is easy to plant and is available year-round. Malunggay’s image was even used as the official logo of the Food and Nutrition Research Institute, an agency of the Department of Science and Technology. One hundred grams or 1 cup of cooked malunggay leaves contain 3.1 g. protein, 0.6 g. fiber, 96 mg calcium, 29 mg phosphorus, 1.7 mg iron, 2,820 mg ß-carotene, 0.07 mg thiamin, 0.14 mg riboflavin, 1.1 mg niacin, and 53 mg ascorbic acid or vitamin C. The antioxidant activity of malunggay is about 71%, with µ-tocopherol (vitamin E) equivalent of 45. Malunggay leaves are an excellent source of vitamin A and B, and minerals such as calcium and iron. It is even an excellent source of protein, being higher than the amino acid pattern of Food and Agriculture Organization-reference protein, yet contains very low fat and carbohydrates. The leaves are incomparable as a source of the sulfur-containing amino acids methionine and cystine, often the natural minerals humans lack. Due to its high vitamins A, C, and E, which are very potent antioxidants, malunggay is a very good quencher of unstable free radicals that can react with and damage molecules that cause aging. Antioxidants reduce the appearance of wrinkles and fine lines. They also prevent the onset of various chronic diseases like arthritis, cancer, and heart and kidney diseases. Malunggay contains the phytochemical niaziminin, which is found to have molecular components that can prevent the development of cancer cells (Faizi et al., 1992) and correlated with inhibitory ability against superoxide generation. The first naturally-occuring thiocarbamates, novel hypotensive agents niazinin A, niazinin B, niazimicin and niaziminin A and B were isolated from malunggay. Malunggay is called �miracle vegetable� because it is not just a food, it is also a medicine. It may therefore be a �functional food�. Malunggay promotes good eyesight, digestion, facilitates bowel movement, and is a cure for stomach ache. It is also used to cleanse wounds and ulcers. It helps alleviate scurvy, asthma, earache, and headaches. For its high calcium content, lactating mothers are advised to eat malunggay leaves to produce more milk. Malunggay is usually cooked with chicken as tinola, or with fish and other vegetables, mongo soup dishes, and blanched as salads. [For more information on food and nutrition, you may write or call The Director, Food and Nutrition Research Institute-Department of Science and Technology, Gen. Santos Avenue, Bicutan, Taguig, Metro Manila, Tel/Fax: 8372934, 8373164; E-mail: cvcb@fnri.dost.gov.ph; FNRI-DOST website: http//www.fnri@dost.gov.ph]
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depression
Depression
Depression, like the word, “cancer”, sends shudders of fear into the hearts of so many. Once viewed as a problem for the weak and paranoid, we tolerated those who were “depressed”, telling them to just “deal with it”. As ugly as it seems, I was one of those critical, religious bigots who would roll my eyes and determine that anyone struggling with depression simply needed to “get over it”.Then one day, I found myself in the middle of the darkest, loneliest time of my life. I was in that fog called depression. I didn’t understand what had happened to me. I found myself unable to concentrate. I was irritable and impatient, crying for no reason and unable to function.I tried to wear the mask – the one we all put on when we want others to believe we have everything under control. The mask shouts, “Everything is fine, just fine.” I wore it so well I began to believe that it all would eventually just go away.But it didn’t. Further and further into the fog I went, traveling down a road that I had never walked before, feeling frightened and so alone. This blinding fog consumed me, prevented me from seeing the good life I had and sent me into a pit of despair.I couldn’t reach out to anyone. I found myself withdrawing from the things I once enjoyed. No longer did I seek out friends asking them over for tea. I had no desire to laugh or play with my children, no pleasure being the wife of a wonderful man. My life felt empty and broken.Looking at me, life seemed so perfect, I had nothing to complain about, but it seemed I would spend the rest of my life on the brink of tears, fear and despair.Finally I couldn’t take it any more. Crying out to God, I told Him that something had to change. It had to be different. I wanted to come back to the place I knew I had been before. But I knew even that place had to be different. Father heard the desperate cry of my heart. He reached down and began to reveal Himself to me.I remember one especially difficult day, a Sunday – arriving at church, the children dressed and intact – myself properly preened, but empty.A pastor’s wife, seeing me in the hallway said, “Hello there, Kim. How are you?”I responded, “Do you really want to know, or are you just asking?”She stammered and stumbled over her words, finally retreating with, “I – I was just being polite.” “Then”, I stated, “I’m fine, just fine.” But I wasn’t.That afternoon I got a call from someone who would prove to be the flesh and bones of God’s love poured out to me. She risked rejection and reached out – insinuating herself into my life by saying, “I’ve seen the light go out in your eyes. I know something is wrong. I am going to keep reminding you that you are so loved. God loves you. You are precious. You will make it and I will be with you the whole way.” She lived the truth of “by this shall they know you are my disciples, that you love one another as I have loved you” and “bear ye, one another’s burdens, and thus fulfill the law of Christ.” We are to fulfill the “law of Christ” by loving one another. At times this means loving the unlovely.By allowing me to go through that dark time, God gave me insight for the hurting, hopeless people He has called me to serve. I had spent my life “sharing God” with them, but I realized I was sharing a God for a “perfect people.” I found that He is Father for an “imperfect people.”We often look at someone and say, “How are you?” not really wanting to know or to be inconvenienced by their fear or pain. We just want to hear them say “I’m fine. Thank you so much for asking.” Then we feel good because we “helped” someone else.I finally understood the truth, “Comfort others with the same comfort by which the Holy Spirit has comforted you.” God gave me a deep understanding of how a child of God, with a seemingly perfect life, can be caught up in the whirlpool that is depression and lose all sense of purpose and direction. Through this gentle, loving sister – He revealed to me His Love, His compassion, His Mercy and gave me a reason to fight my way back. He showed me we can never think that we have honored His command to love by simply asking how someone is doing. It takes our time, our energy and stretches our patience. But by loving completely outside our own strength and impulses, we can allow His love to flow through us to the one in such desperate need.It took time, but I began to grasp the reason He rescued me – it was His love; a radical, passionate, overwhelming, intrusive love – greater than all my doubt, my sin, my pain and my need. God’s love rescued me from the fog of depression. At that point I laid down my heart and simply said, “Fill it up.” He did, He does and keeps on filling it – with Himself and His love for me.Freedom from depression is a journey. One not traveled alone, but one that has to be traveled – because if it is not, we will be held captive by the fog of darkness and depression when our Father God has created us to dwell in the Light!
The Fog” reprinted with permission
By Kim Hagans Certified Speaker
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